How Dating Sites Work – Free vs Paid for Memberships on Online Dating Sites

New or curious about online dating sites and how they work?

How most dating sites wor:k and profile set up information (general) – setting up a profile and using free vs paid online dating subscriptions.

Every dating site or app is different. Yet there are MANY similarities amongst dating sites that will help you if you’re new or curious about online dating.  The first thing to know is that an online dating site uses a DATABASE type of platform and algorithm, meaning a profile is a set of data that is used to match with other sets of data (other member profiles) for interests, appearance and lifestyle factors.

Dating site matching is scientifically driven in the sense it’s data and database driven. But most dating website algorithms and matching functions are far from perfect – and human behaviour in terms of online dating is far from rational or predictable.  Plus, if a site doesn’t have adequate members meeting your matching criteria, the algorithm may tell you “no matching criteria” or it might just lower the bar.

Free vs Paid for Dating Sites Subscriptions and Features

  • Most dating sites or dating apps offer FREE log-ins and FREE profiles.
  • Profiles WILL ask your age, and often other factors such as height, weight, hair colour/style, body shape or size, and a set number of lifestyle activities such as whether or not you smoke, drink, watch too much television or have fantasies about playing Russian Roulette..
  • Most DEMAND a photo and a legitimately-working email for validation and profile-building.
  • Photo often need to meets certain criteria (e.g., they MUST show your face/eyes, not be overly grainy or low in resolution, not have others or children in them and so on).
  • Validation of an email address is also required before being able to USE the profile (search your spam folders if needed).
  • A set list of criteria also needs to be filled in, such as whether or not you’d be happy dating someone who still wants children (or not) and whether or not you’ve finished a certain degree of schooling; what your religion and cultural preferences are (if any), and income ranges of people you’d like to date.

At which point, the person can SEARCH for matches – but not necessarily contact them for free.

Read the blog AGE FABRICATION – how many people lie about their age on dating profiles?

Lifehacker reviewed TINDER GOLD features and benefits – click here to see what they had to say.

  • Some sites SAY they’re free to use – and they are – but only to set up a profile not to actually contact or respond to others’ expressions of interest.
  • Remember – if it’s your first time setting up a profile, be sure you tick the box for SMS alerts (YES or NO) or EMAIL alerts (YES or NO) as otherwise you may have to be IN the app or ON the dating site to see any activity; that noted, if you’re using a work email, you might not want your daily matches showing up at your office desk computer or office phone.
  • Some APPS require PHONE ONLY use; others can be accessed through an APP on your phone, though an INTERNET BROWSER on your phone (Mozilla, Firefox, Chrome and similar – although some are glitchy with dating site formats) – OR on your COMPUTER/PC or TABLET.
  • Expect functionality and appearance of the site and menus to change depending on which DEVICE you’re using – not all devices or browsers work compatibly with dating software (and vice versus).

But added features – such as being able to make contact with other users or having filtering systems to enable profile weeding, cost extra.

Tired of seeing the same fish every time you’re on a dating site?

Send an enquiry to request information on unique cliche dating sites.


Average Registration Times for Top Dating Sites – Tinder, Match, Elite Singles, EHarmony, Bumble

  • Depending on the site, registration can take from a few minutes (allow at least 20 minutes to 30 minutes for most sites) to several hours spent filling in exhausting forms you’ll never know will come in useful (or not).
  • EHarmony is exhaustive and takes a very long time to fill in but says the algorithm matching is “worth it”.
  • Some sites let you skip the details but the more info you DO put in, the more closely the MATCH might become. Theoretically speaking, anyway.
  • Everyone questions algorithms at some stage, but according to an insider at Fairfax (who owns the dating website, RSVP), what people SAY they want – and what they CLICK on – are not as aligned as one might think.

Are the FREE dating sites worth it? Such as PLENTYOFFISH (POF)?
  • Many people enter the foray of online dating on a free site, such as the popular PlentyOfFish or Zoosk.
  • The more FREE users a site has, the more PROFILE WEEDING you’re going to need to do (and the more attractive and time-saving the PREMIUM feature memberships become).
  • But most online dating sites have FEE FOR CONTACT or a FEE FOR MEMBERSHIP.

Find out Dating Statistics for Tinder and other facts about online dating industry.

Recommended reading:

Online Dating Statistics and Number of Tinder Users

How many single people are using online dating?


How Many People Lie About Their Age on Dating Profiles?

Originally published on September 27 2019 by DoctorMyWeb.

Page last updated on January 20, 2020.

Ready to Date after a Divorce or Bad Breakup?

Ready to Date after a Divorce or Bad Breakup? What NOT to do.

There are many situations leading to unexpected separations and/or loneliness after 5, 10, or 25 years of togetherness or marriage.

And I”m not implying these are mutually exclusive, although many marriages survive as much on partner separation as they do on togetherness.

Many of us, however, will go through either a bereavement-related loss, a mid-life breakup or a bad divorce somewhere in our 50s or 60s or 70s. In these scenarios, we may find ourselves exploring potential re-partnering and wondering where and when to start.

FIND THE REST OF THIS BLOG at the link below (the profile-dating website):

How soon should people DATE after a divorce or breakup?



My BOOK highlights three optimal ‘frames of mind’ required for my two best midlife dating objective recommendations:

(a) maximising positive interactions with potential mid-life partners, and

(b) minimising further damage to one’s self-esteem.

Read more in the next blog post or send an email to purchase the LOVE HUNTERS GUIDE TO MIDLIFE RELATIONSHIPS AND ONLINE DATING.

Connie M, MHST, Author

More about me and how I help people over 50, over 60 and in their sexy 70s find love.

Page last updated January 21, 2020.

How Many People Can You Meet Online on Dating Sites?

The Dating Game and Numbers: Just How Many People Can You Meet Online with a really good dating profile?

I often talk about how important it is to allow adequate time to use a dating site or dating app, such as Tinder, Match, POF and others. And not all sites are equal, but I’ cover that in detail in my book chapters The Love Seekers Guide to Online Dating and Scams: Dating Over 45 and Dating Over 50, 65 and 70.

How many views or clicks or swipes a day does a successful dating profile attract?

Average Numbers of Views, Swipes and Interest/Meet Me clicks or Kisses for a good dating profile.

  • The right profile – the right images and good descriptions – should attract at least 50 views a day, per day, repeatedly for the first few weeks.
  • This peak often relates to a new profile going up – and users searching for NEW faces, rather than the often-repeats who are failing at online dating due to poor profiles, awful photographs and poor search strategies, then it may potentially drop to about 20 a day.
  • If you failed, contact me for the TIPS guide (send an enquiry on the contact page) as to how to revamp your profile and start again.
  • Some top rating profiles which I helped create attracted over 100 views a day, with at least 20 to 40 clicks expressing interest in the dating profiles individual.
  • Example: Day 1 – over 100 views and 24 emails; Day 2 – over 110 views and over 27 emails (sometimes the DATING SITE or DATING APP puts a trending profile in everyone’s INBOX, especially if you pay for their premium services OR you are getting a lot of clicks.
  • Within 3 days, a good profile with good, recent photographs – should theoretically attract at least 30 views a day, repeatedly, and at least 2 to 5 contact emails or Mutual MEET ME indications PER day.

If, however, you have POOR photos, are very out of shape and haven’t hit the gym yet, say very little in your profile AND/OR have awful photographs on your profile page (you with a fish, you in a bathtub or without a shirt on staring at your gym mirror flexing your biceps, you very fuzzily or hiding your face) you will NOT win at these dating numbers odds.

Tick Boxes and Dating Profiles – Does being specific work?

Yes, being specific is important and one of the tenets of my book and dating coaching programs and workshops. Because you don’t JUST want anybody, you want someone you can live with, a ‘lover who won’t drive you crazy’ kind of person as the song goes. And as you approach your later years, you may become more tolerant of others foibles – sure, miracles can happen. But most likely, you’re becoming fussier and pickier as you age – not less so. (Of course, this does vary, some people just want a warm body next to them at night – and will take nearly anything. But the savvy daters who have a lot going for them, they are VERY, VERY fussy about who they want to talk with and meet and potentially partner with for the rest of their lives). As they should be – as all of us should be.

Specific Search Strategies for Online Dating – Tips and Scam Avoidance

Let’s face it – it’s a numbers game because if you’re like most people trying to date after 45, after 50 or after 60 and after 65 or 70, you are looking for a very specific person; one who may or may not exist, but in all likelihood, how you SEARCH for them is going to impact greatly on your chances of finding them.

But you’re also needing to avoid online dating scams, not waste too much time and energy or coffee and dinner money at this stage of life (it is, however, an investment of sorts as divorce costs a lot more than a few dinners with the wrong person OR a missed opportunity for love with the right person, just because you’re wanting to be cheap on dinner outings).


Why you have to be on online dating sites to meet people: Dating Statistics


If the stats above suit a well-structured, well written profile with great pics, then you can expect to have:

  • At least 200 people viewing your profile per week (I can’t vouch for how many will READ it versus look at the photos, and this may vary from person to person and gender to gender)..
  • You’ll have at least 20 people writing to you each week – making the first contact (this may depend on what your dating app requires to make contact, e,g. it might be just a swipe right or an expression of interest or mutual interest.
  • Depending on your social skills. including manners and presentation, you’ll likely have an opportunity to TALK with – or MEET – at least 3 of those either by phone, coffee or drinks.
  • So over a one month period, you should theoretically be able to meet or talk with at least 12 similarly minded individuals with some common interests or lifestyle factors.

Where else can you meet 12 individuals, potentially suitable for partnering, in one month?

  • The answer: No where.
  • And that’s why you NEED to be on online dating sites or using dating apps after the age of 45, after 50, after 60 and after 65 or 70, if you have any hope of finding a suitable partner.

BUT just using the apps isn’t enough.

  • The majority of men and women over 45 and especially over 50, over 60/65 and over 70 – FAIL to attract a suitable partner with mutual affinity and compatible lifestyles.
  • They become frustrated, disappointed and angry,
  • They often leave the platform or dating app/online dating site they’ve chosen TOO soon, with their head hung low, and sadness in their heart.

Because they are getting it wrong.

How to write a great profile – and why your pictures and photographs count for at least 75% of your success rate with most other users.

Find out WHY in my book,, send a contact and stay up to date on tips for dating and avoiding online romance scams and suspect profiles.


Read why you shouldn’t lie about your age on your profile.

Online Dating Statistics across the globe

Back to our best DATING AFTER 45, AFTER 50 and AFTER 65 or 70 Dating Tips blogs.


Ready to Date? Take the Quiz

So…you’re single and looking for love over 50. Or maybe you’re over 60, or over 70, and suddenly on your own. How do you know if you’re even READY to try online dating, yet alone have success in finding a good partner you actually want to spend your remaining time with?  This handy QUIZ will assess your readiness to try online dating sites to search for friends, a potential romantic relationship or “lifelong” partner. (And at this stage of life, life long can mean very different things.)

QUIZ for online dating preparedness.

Are you ready to date? Online Dating Quiz

(c) 2018 – all rights reserved by Dating Profile Tips.

1. You really DO know yourself well.

YES ____  (3 pts)  NO ____ (-2 pt)

It’s amazing how many people are not self-aware.  Whilst there’s no one way to know if you actually ARE self-aware or not, these activities tend to reveal a self-aware individual. Give yourself 1 point for each AFFIRMATIVE response and take away 1 point for each one you answer NO to.

  • You know why your prior relationships did not last beyond a certain time OR why they ended (you’re not at a loss to explain what actually went wrong AND your contribution to the relationship breakdown)..
  • You have had therapy or professional counselling for a minimum of 6 sessions over your lifetime.
  • You journal frequently or write about your emotions.
  • You have a confidante who agrees you are self-aware and they are able to share their insights with you about your behaviour in a way you don’t become defensive. (They may or not be correct but at least you’re listening/reflecting).
  • You control your anger and are not temperamental or quickly reactive.
  • You have a responsibility mentality – understanding what you can change or not change – and you do NOT have a victim mentality (why me, poor me, it’d all be great except for so and so – that kind of thinking)..

2. Your PAST is in the PAST and you’re not feeling like a “victim” to an unwanted break up, bereavement or divorce.

YES ____  (3 pts)  NO ____ (-3 pt)

  • You have no animosity towards your ex partner OR at least feel accepting and ready to move on.
  • You can talk calmly and/or positively about your past relationships and/or break ups.
  • If you are recently bereaved, you have healed most of the acute grief AND/OR are very, very self-aware. (There’s no such thing as too soon; every person is unique in grief responses and every bereavement is unique – use your judgment but do speak with a professional counsellor or grief counsellor – for at least several sessions – if you feel unsteady on your feet).
  • You are not crying every few days or every few hours – or if you are, it’s brief and in the company of a trusted friend or therapist.
  • You and your ex aren’t at war or arguing about child custody and/or financial settlements (not a great time to date).


3. You are actually free and single to date.

YES ____  (2 pts)  NO ____ (-2 pt)

  • Honesty is the #3 tenet of successful online dating (the #1 tenet is patience).
  • If you’re in a relationship and looking for something on the side, you’ll be doing yourself and your prospective partners a disservice.
  • If you’re wanting an on-the-side fling, don’t use online dating. Instead, go to a club and wear your ring, announce you are married and looking for love.


4. You know what you’re looking for and what WILL and WON’T work for your lifestyle – but with realism and flexibility.

YES ____  (2 pts)  NO ____ (-3 pt)

  • Of all the time wasters on online dating sites, this one is all about NOT only NOT KNOWING yourself, but not knowing what you’re looking for.
  • If you know you want someone whose children are out of the house or at least independent, then you need to clearly use this in your searching strategy. On the other hand, if you know you need someone who is either a professional like yourself OR a retired person like yourself, be sure you state this clearly – because each of these has different time availability and lifestyle demands – a mismatch here can ruin even the best of compatible relationships.
  • Don’t expect to get a 35-45 year old supermodel if you’re slovenly and out of shape. Be realistic about what you CAN attract – and go about it in a strategic way so that you do not fail repeatedly at attracting a partner you’ll be happy with during a relationship (strategies are covered in detail in The Love Hunters Guide books).
  • It can take some time to know what you’re looking for – but if you follow the advice in the book “The Love Hunters Guide to online dating,” you’ll be much more prepared for the right search strategy so you waste less time – and money – meeting unlikely-to-stick potential partners.


5. You have had FASHION or WARDROBE advice and have some new wardrobe items you feel great in = and your kids and younger associates AGREE that those outfits ‘look good enough to wear on dates’ and in your dating profile photographs.

YES ____  (3 pts)  NO ____ (-4 pt)

  • Humans are very visual creators (most of us, anyway).  Hence, your presentation is more important to online dating success than you might think.
  • How you dress DOES matter – especially in photographs and on the first several dates.
  • Most people need some help in this area – and some people need a LOT of help in this area.
  • Don’t be ashamed to seek professional WARDROBE advice, if even from your children or a close friend who’s at least 10 to 20 years younger than yourself. (Why? Because some of us over 50s and over 60s still dress similarly to how we did in the 1970s – we get stuck in a look, and the LOOK gets stuck on us – it doesn’t attract more fashion conscious professionals.


6. You have had PHOTOGRAPHY advice and professional coaching on which photographs to use and which ones NOT to use’.

YES ____  (4 pts)  NO ____ (-4 pt)

  • Your choice of photographs is ALSO crucial to success; but using any photos over 18 months old if you’re over 50 is a NO NO.
  • A professional photo shoot by the right type of photographer is recommended; however, using heavily photoshopped photos is a NO NO.
  • If you’re over 60 or over 70, using ANY photos taken prior to 6 months ago is a NO-NO. (Sorry to break the news to you, but there is ZERO possibility you look identical to how you looked 2 years ago, or even a year ago for that matter. Ageing accelerates in our fifties, sixties, sexy seventies and beyond.  Get real and you’ll have a more realistic chance at being successful in your online dating search-and-find tactics.
  • Using poor photos is a NO-NO – bathroom selfies and so forth.
  • You definitely need at least one and ideally 2 full body shots PLUS at least 3 closer-in face photos with a mix of front and side angles.. Yes, soft lighting is fine – but don’t photoshop out those wrinkles and whatever you do, don’t use an older photo.
  • Avoid the standard photography mistakes in online dating profiles (you by the car, motorbike, on your bicycle or at the gym).  Yes, one or two photos of activities is fine – but overdo it and you’ll lose some quality prospective partners.
  • Get professional help or selection advice (it doesn’t cost a fortune and you’ll save that easily in fewer rejections and more honest selections from both sides of the swipe).


7. You are positive in your mindset, and you are fit and healthy AND/OR you are very open in your profile about any unique conditions you have, including your weight, height and body type.

YES ____  (4 pts)  NO ____ (-3 pt)

  • You care about your physical appearance.
  • You care about your health and weight OR are very open about NOT CARING about your health or weight.
  • Caring about your appearance is not about vanity, its actually a sign of having positive self-regard and a healthy state of mind.
  • It’s okay if you’re a bit overweight but be honest in your profile and show that in your photos.
  • If you’re very overweight, or obese, chances are high that you may be using food as a comforting component rather than facing up to losses and disappointments in your life.
  • If you feel you might be an emotional eater, counselling and fitness advice could be very helpful to get you to a healthier place – physically and emotionally – for online dating..

QUIZ interpretation (C 2018 – all rights reserved)

Points/Scoring about preparedness to embark on Online Dating in a successful way::

16 to 20 points – very prepared for online dating. But even so, be sure you have read about:
  • Proper search strategies vs ineffective ones
  • Creative appeal in profile creation
  • The importance of full honesty in your profile writing.
12 to 15 points – you are somewhat prepared but would benefit from tweaking a few items as above.
  • Be sure you work on proper healing from your past AND/OR
  • Work on your wardrobe, presentation and photographs
  • Ask for advice from trusted friends, colleagues, kids and/or counsellors about HOW to better prepare yourself for online dating – and what you need to work on most (is it healing from the past? Or getting your wardrobe and photographs in order)?
9-11 points – you are not quite ready for online dating but you’re nearly ready
  • With the right advice and a bit of assistance, you may have some success OR
  • At least you’re nearly ready to learn the ropes of online dating profiles and online dating meet-and-greets for your age group/demographic.
8 points or less – get some assistance and give it a bit more time
  • If you score less than 8 points on this test, you’re likely not READY for online dating – at least, not yet.
  • You would simply be wasting your time, your money and your remaining sanity on online dating sites.
  • Instead of online dating sites, get some professional counselling and give it more time,.
  • Get in good shape (get healthier) physically, socially and emotionally.
  • Start going to the gym – work on hobbies, self-awareness, build your friendship circle and work on inner healing.
  • Do some self-exploration and self-development courses.
  • Read more books on grief, healing, change and self-development.
  • Try Journalling or a creative pursuit to express your emotions or grief.
  • Join MEET-UPS in areas of life you enjoy, devote more time to a favourite hobby, and work on your social skills and presentation style.

Back to the best blogs for online dating for over 50s, over 60s and over 70s.

Or get in touch for some private coaching via Skype, Facetime, ZOOM or by phone!

Recommended top BLOG articles for online dating after the age of 50 or 60 and beyond.

Have attitudes changed towards online dating and Tinder?

How Dating Sites Work – Free vs Paid for Memberships on Online Dating Sites

How many single people are using online dating?

Top 10 Dating Sites

How Many People Lie About Their Age on Dating Profiles?


Sorry, you have emailed us 3 separate times using this enquiry form and to protect the inbox from potential spam-mers, we have set the limit to 3 enquiries using this form. Please contact us by phone if you have additional questions. +61 491 105 123.

Top 10 Dating Sites

Top 10 Dating Sites Online – Dating Profile Tips

Online dating sites are forever evolving, and no doubt you’ll see the same faces across many different websites. When it comes to FREE ONLINE dating sites, such as PLENTYOFFISH, TINDER and others, you typically get what you pay for – less control and a lot of weeding to find the profiles that suit you best. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be on those top free dating sites as well as your favourite paid-for online dating sites such as RSVP, BUMBLE, B2B, and soon to be, Facebook Dating Pages.  Plus, even the FREE online dating profile sites offer elite online dating FILTERING services or premium subscriptions.

How many dating sites should a person be on?

  • It’s usually helpful to be on at least two (2) DATING WEBSITES, but choose these carefully.
  • Any more than two dating site profiles, and you’re likely diluting your energy and your e-energy.

But online dating can get very expensive, very quickly – especially if you’re making a lot of mistakes with WHO you’re contacting and HOW you’re contacting them.

Read our top rated BLOGS on dating profile tips.

Dating Site Statistics and facts, pricing and costs

That’s why I advise everyone to read my e-book, Love Seekers Guide to finding online love, partnership and romance after the age of 50 – so that you know how to avoid the common traps and pitfalls of online dating in your middle to later years.

Send an enquiry on our contacts page to request information on getting your copy (only $10.95 via ebook format).


Top 10 Dating Sites online – Reviews and Rankings (1-10)

Elite Singles

Silver Singles




Academic Singles

…want the next 3 of the TOP 10 best dating apps or dating websites for over 50s and over 60s and beyond?

Send us your email and we’ll send you the full list along with dating tips and a FREE profile template!

Back to our blogs.





Sorry, you have emailed us 3 separate times using this enquiry form and to protect the inbox from potential spam-mers, we have set the limit to 3 enquiries using this form. Please contact us by phone if you have additional questions. +61 491 105 123.

How Many People Lie About Their Age on Dating Profiles?

How many people lie about their age on dating profiles and dating sites?

The answer, sadly, is a LOT – especially for over 50s, over 60s and beyond.

We believe lying about your age is one of the BIGGEST NO NOs of Online Dating Success.

Why do people lie about their age online?

Here are the excuses we’ve heard for why people lie about their age online – and why we’re not buying them – and we’re not alone.

  • 80% to 90% of online daters we interviewed said they would never trust a potential partner that lied about their age on an online dating profile, even if they fessed up early.
  • Most people who are dating online round up in increments of 5 to 10 years – it’s easy to guess a lie when the person discusses when they were in school, favourite television shows when they were children, and the ages of their children or grand children.

Read more dating tips on our top dating tips and dating site blog!

Common Excuses for Lying about Age on a Dating Profile –

The first excuse is, “well – I’m very young for my age.”
  • The truth: everyone thinks this, but even if you are young for your age, you’re still your age – and believe me, age matters to a lot of people.
  • But honesty matters more than age.
Think that “age is just a number?:” Think again!
  • Age IS actually more than a number – it’s a lifelong point of reference that has a huge impact on your influences and your upbringing, from how genders are seen and treated to your politics to your eating, drinking and sexual habits..
  • If you feel everyone your age is “too old for you” – imagine what a much YOUNGER person you’re trying to attract, feels about YOUR AGE.
  • Face the truth and stick as close to your age group as possible but whatever you do, don’t lie.
The second excuse is, “well – everybody does it so I’d be at a disadvantage if I didn’t lie about my age.”

The truth is that NOT EVERYONE does it, and you’ll be at a huge disadvantage if your prospective partner – someone you really like – finds out you’ve been dishonest in your profile or ever for several weeks or years.

You’ll have an advantage if you tell the truth, and make contact with a killer profile that resonates with the person you want to be with, than by pretending to be what you’re not.


Ready to Date? Take the Quiz

The third excuse is, “I need to date younger, I’m just not attracted to anyone my own age. They all look OLD!”

The truth is, that YOU look about the same age as your peers. You may not want to admit it, but you do – maybe a bit better, maybe a bit younger or fitter – but it’s highly unlikely you’d be mistaken for a man or woman 10 years younger, even if your friends all tell you that. And even if you could be, it’s a greater advantage to be honest about age – and know that the compliments about looking younger are real from people you meet – than to be dishonest and risk a budding relationship founded on a lie.

Relationships founded on a lie are unsustainable.

So be truthful about your age on your profile.

Honesty on dating profiles is the #3 Rule of Being Successful. No lies, no excuses.

Read more dating tips on our top dating tips and dating site blog.

Recommended reading for new users of online dating services::

How Dating Sites Work – Free vs Paid for Memberships on Online Dating Sites

How many single people are using online dating?

Online Dating Statistics and Number of Tinder Users


contact us for SOUND advice about how to make a profile that attracts.

Recommended reading on age deception (age fabrication).

Tall tales or tall dating? Is there such a thing?



Sorry, you have emailed us 3 separate times using this enquiry form and to protect the inbox from potential spam-mers, we have set the limit to 3 enquiries using this form. Please contact us by phone if you have additional questions. +61 491 105 123.