So…you’re single and looking for love over 50. Or maybe you’re over 60, or over 70, and suddenly on your own. How do you know if you’re even READY to try online dating, yet alone have success in finding a good partner you actually want to spend your remaining time with? This handy QUIZ will assess your readiness to try online dating sites to search for friends, a potential romantic relationship or “lifelong” partner. (And at this stage of life, life long can mean very different things.)
QUIZ for online dating preparedness.
Are you ready to date? Online Dating Quiz
(c) 2018 – all rights reserved by Dating Profile Tips.
1. You really DO know yourself well.
YES ____ (3 pts) NO ____ (-2 pt)
It’s amazing how many people are not self-aware. Whilst there’s no one way to know if you actually ARE self-aware or not, these activities tend to reveal a self-aware individual. Give yourself 1 point for each AFFIRMATIVE response and take away 1 point for each one you answer NO to.
- You know why your prior relationships did not last beyond a certain time OR why they ended (you’re not at a loss to explain what actually went wrong AND your contribution to the relationship breakdown)..
- You have had therapy or professional counselling for a minimum of 6 sessions over your lifetime.
- You journal frequently or write about your emotions.
- You have a confidante who agrees you are self-aware and they are able to share their insights with you about your behaviour in a way you don’t become defensive. (They may or not be correct but at least you’re listening/reflecting).
- You control your anger and are not temperamental or quickly reactive.
- You have a responsibility mentality – understanding what you can change or not change – and you do NOT have a victim mentality (why me, poor me, it’d all be great except for so and so – that kind of thinking)..
2. Your PAST is in the PAST and you’re not feeling like a “victim” to an unwanted break up, bereavement or divorce.
YES ____ (3 pts) NO ____ (-3 pt)
- You have no animosity towards your ex partner OR at least feel accepting and ready to move on.
- You can talk calmly and/or positively about your past relationships and/or break ups.
- If you are recently bereaved, you have healed most of the acute grief AND/OR are very, very self-aware. (There’s no such thing as too soon; every person is unique in grief responses and every bereavement is unique – use your judgment but do speak with a professional counsellor or grief counsellor – for at least several sessions – if you feel unsteady on your feet).
- You are not crying every few days or every few hours – or if you are, it’s brief and in the company of a trusted friend or therapist.
- You and your ex aren’t at war or arguing about child custody and/or financial settlements (not a great time to date).
3. You are actually free and single to date.
YES ____ (2 pts) NO ____ (-2 pt)
- Honesty is the #3 tenet of successful online dating (the #1 tenet is patience).
- If you’re in a relationship and looking for something on the side, you’ll be doing yourself and your prospective partners a disservice.
- If you’re wanting an on-the-side fling, don’t use online dating. Instead, go to a club and wear your ring, announce you are married and looking for love.
4. You know what you’re looking for and what WILL and WON’T work for your lifestyle – but with realism and flexibility.
YES ____ (2 pts) NO ____ (-3 pt)
- Of all the time wasters on online dating sites, this one is all about NOT only NOT KNOWING yourself, but not knowing what you’re looking for.
- If you know you want someone whose children are out of the house or at least independent, then you need to clearly use this in your searching strategy. On the other hand, if you know you need someone who is either a professional like yourself OR a retired person like yourself, be sure you state this clearly – because each of these has different time availability and lifestyle demands – a mismatch here can ruin even the best of compatible relationships.
- Don’t expect to get a 35-45 year old supermodel if you’re slovenly and out of shape. Be realistic about what you CAN attract – and go about it in a strategic way so that you do not fail repeatedly at attracting a partner you’ll be happy with during a relationship (strategies are covered in detail in The Love Hunters Guide books).
- It can take some time to know what you’re looking for – but if you follow the advice in the book “The Love Hunters Guide to online dating,” you’ll be much more prepared for the right search strategy so you waste less time – and money – meeting unlikely-to-stick potential partners.
5. You have had FASHION or WARDROBE advice and have some new wardrobe items you feel great in = and your kids and younger associates AGREE that those outfits ‘look good enough to wear on dates’ and in your dating profile photographs.
YES ____ (3 pts) NO ____ (-4 pt)
- Humans are very visual creators (most of us, anyway). Hence, your presentation is more important to online dating success than you might think.
- How you dress DOES matter – especially in photographs and on the first several dates.
- Most people need some help in this area – and some people need a LOT of help in this area.
- Don’t be ashamed to seek professional WARDROBE advice, if even from your children or a close friend who’s at least 10 to 20 years younger than yourself. (Why? Because some of us over 50s and over 60s still dress similarly to how we did in the 1970s – we get stuck in a look, and the LOOK gets stuck on us – it doesn’t attract more fashion conscious professionals.
6. You have had PHOTOGRAPHY advice and professional coaching on which photographs to use and which ones NOT to use’.
YES ____ (4 pts) NO ____ (-4 pt)
- Your choice of photographs is ALSO crucial to success; but using any photos over 18 months old if you’re over 50 is a NO NO.
- A professional photo shoot by the right type of photographer is recommended; however, using heavily photoshopped photos is a NO NO.
- If you’re over 60 or over 70, using ANY photos taken prior to 6 months ago is a NO-NO. (Sorry to break the news to you, but there is ZERO possibility you look identical to how you looked 2 years ago, or even a year ago for that matter. Ageing accelerates in our fifties, sixties, sexy seventies and beyond. Get real and you’ll have a more realistic chance at being successful in your online dating search-and-find tactics.
- Using poor photos is a NO-NO – bathroom selfies and so forth.
- You definitely need at least one and ideally 2 full body shots PLUS at least 3 closer-in face photos with a mix of front and side angles.. Yes, soft lighting is fine – but don’t photoshop out those wrinkles and whatever you do, don’t use an older photo.
- Avoid the standard photography mistakes in online dating profiles (you by the car, motorbike, on your bicycle or at the gym). Yes, one or two photos of activities is fine – but overdo it and you’ll lose some quality prospective partners.
- Get professional help or selection advice (it doesn’t cost a fortune and you’ll save that easily in fewer rejections and more honest selections from both sides of the swipe).
7. You are positive in your mindset, and you are fit and healthy AND/OR you are very open in your profile about any unique conditions you have, including your weight, height and body type.
YES ____ (4 pts) NO ____ (-3 pt)
- You care about your physical appearance.
- You care about your health and weight OR are very open about NOT CARING about your health or weight.
- Caring about your appearance is not about vanity, its actually a sign of having positive self-regard and a healthy state of mind.
- It’s okay if you’re a bit overweight but be honest in your profile and show that in your photos.
- If you’re very overweight, or obese, chances are high that you may be using food as a comforting component rather than facing up to losses and disappointments in your life.
- If you feel you might be an emotional eater, counselling and fitness advice could be very helpful to get you to a healthier place – physically and emotionally – for online dating..
QUIZ interpretation (C 2018 – all rights reserved)
Points/Scoring about preparedness to embark on Online Dating in a successful way::
16 to 20 points – very prepared for online dating. But even so, be sure you have read about:
- Proper search strategies vs ineffective ones
- Creative appeal in profile creation
- The importance of full honesty in your profile writing.
12 to 15 points – you are somewhat prepared but would benefit from tweaking a few items as above.
- Be sure you work on proper healing from your past AND/OR
- Work on your wardrobe, presentation and photographs
- Ask for advice from trusted friends, colleagues, kids and/or counsellors about HOW to better prepare yourself for online dating – and what you need to work on most (is it healing from the past? Or getting your wardrobe and photographs in order)?
9-11 points – you are not quite ready for online dating but you’re nearly ready
- With the right advice and a bit of assistance, you may have some success OR
- At least you’re nearly ready to learn the ropes of online dating profiles and online dating meet-and-greets for your age group/demographic.
8 points or less – get some assistance and give it a bit more time
- If you score less than 8 points on this test, you’re likely not READY for online dating – at least, not yet.
- You would simply be wasting your time, your money and your remaining sanity on online dating sites.
- Instead of online dating sites, get some professional counselling and give it more time,.
- Get in good shape (get healthier) physically, socially and emotionally.
- Start going to the gym – work on hobbies, self-awareness, build your friendship circle and work on inner healing.
- Do some self-exploration and self-development courses.
- Read more books on grief, healing, change and self-development.
- Try Journalling or a creative pursuit to express your emotions or grief.
- Join MEET-UPS in areas of life you enjoy, devote more time to a favourite hobby, and work on your social skills and presentation style.
Recommended top BLOG articles for online dating after the age of 50 or 60 and beyond.
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